Why are we so positive?

Of course, in reality, the exact opposite is true. People are incredibly negative and never find the silver lining behind anything. Or maybe that's just us Midwesterners. Here's my thought on the whole thing. Bad, horrible stuff happens. And I will accept it and embrace it as something horrible. I will not look at it as a blessing in disguise. But, let me say this, I will try my hardest to learn something from the whole event.

Sometimes I would like to just be allowed to piss and moan. I hate it when people go, "Well, what good is complaining going to do?" It isn't going to do any good, but I would like to be allowed to do it! It helps get all the junk out of me!

I feel more exhausted than I have ever felt in my life. Not from work or school or shooting, but just from existing. Each day I wake up and as the minutes slowly tick by I feel myself wearing down more and more. I am so tired that I wish I could just cease to be and rest. If I think any further than two days from now I become so exhausted that I wonder why I have to live that long.

Scary stuff.

My life at this point is like a big game of tetris. All these groupings and blocks keep coming down, and as each one drops I fail to put it in the right place, and so all the blocks keep building and building. And soon, very very soon, they will overload and the whole thing will collapse. Game over for Jacob.

Today...man I hope today somehow works out...I can't possibly imagine how it will...Nature herself is against me in her full fury. I am also lacking in (wo)manpower.

Oh goodness.